A Day in the Life: Osh, Kyrgyzstan

Zhanibek dropped us off in our last stop in Kyrgyzstan: Osh, the capital of southern Kyrgyzstan and the oldest city in the country. We found this historical city of almost 300,000 people to be perfectly…satisfactory; neither spectacular nor bad. Perhaps it was because, by then, we were nearing the end of our third week in Kyrgyzstan and were already settled into the sights and smells of the country; or maybe it was because we, like so many other fellow travelers, used this spot to veg out and simply re-gather ourselves in the comfort of the nice weather and high connectivity. Whatever the reason, our time in Osh was so standard, so representative of just another day, that it seems like the perfect opportunity to sum up a “day-in-the-life” of two stumbling Westerners in Kyrgyzstan. So here we go.

Wake up after a night of hearing the pumping music in the trendy bar/club next door, where we and fellow backpacking friends had joined for a few hours to check out the local Kyrgyz “youth scene.” Found out that, surprisingly, there is a drinking and going-out scene in this allegedly conservative city, though the mediocre dance moves could still use some help.

Get out of bed. Go to the bathroom. Use toilet paper that is basically cardboard. Put said cardboard in the bin, because you can’t flush toilet paper down the toilet in Central Asia. Thinks to self, “If the toilet paper wasn’t made of cardboard, maybe the plumbing could actually handle it?”

What should we wear? This is not a hard decision, as we only have a few options, especially because most of our clothes were hanging out in the hostel courtyard after doing our laundry the day before. Choose the cleanest, non-wet shirt and pants and move on.

Time for breakfast. Most hostels/guest houses/hotels serve a western-influenced breakfast that often involves a lot of carbs. There’s bread, small pancakes, and crepes. Sometimes there is an egg in various forms. Also heavily involved are the tomato and cucumber—these guys are a part of every meal in Central Asia and are grown in greenhouses here. Drink tea. Drink more tea. As with most days, we would drink a lot of tea.

Look at the Lonely Planet guidebook to figure out what we should do today. Learn about Osh. Osh is the gateway between mountainous Kyrgyzstan and the fertile plains of Uzbekistan. Osh itself is part of the Fergana Valley, the breadbasket of Central Asia that is split between Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan, and Tajikistan (the old Soviet borders have left lingering challenges for these two nations, as Kyrgyzstan has the mountain water and Uzbekistan has the rich soil; there was actually an official land swap just a few weeks before we arrived). In fact, the change between Central/North Kyrgyzstan and the South is surprisingly acute, both in landscape and lifestyle. With the mountains behind us, herds gave way to farms, and one can feel the warm air instead of cold mountain breezes that blow through the smoggy streets. The transition is also felt culturally, as Osh’s population is roughly half Kyrgyz and half Uzbek.

Let’s stroll around the city to see for ourselves. But first, since our hostel doesn’t take credit card, we need to get some more som. This is easier said than done, as finding an ATM that takes Visa, that actually works, and that actually has money, can be a challenge. Once we find one, we end up taking out more cash than we would normally feel comfortable carrying, but we do it here because we’re not sure when the next time we can take out cash is, and we have felt incredibly safe throughout Central Asia. In fact, one time when we were riding the bus, we paid the 10 som fare (about 15¢) and got off the bus (you pay when you leave here). Apparently, the fare was only 5 som, as the bus driver got out of the bus and ran after us to give us our tiny change.

After successfully getting money, we head to Navoi Park. Navoi Park is like the Lincoln Parks or Union Squares of Central Asia; many cities in the Turkic-speaking region have a park named after this poet. We figure this would be a good place to lounge around, escape the poor air quality, and maybe sit in a quiet corner to read about Uzbekistan, our next stop. However, while Navoi is very green and very beautiful, there was just one slight problem: it is also an amusement park, like so many other parks in the country. Between the tall oak trees and lush vegetation are pirate ship rides, fast food stands, and whack-a-mole type carnival games where one can win sad, slightly dirty stuffed animals. Much of the equipment is old and rusted—the teacups ride looked like they were going to fly off the rails at any moment. It all sounds depressing, but even on a random weekday afternoon, the park was quite lively and full of people of all ages having a good time.

Though the sounds of carnival games didn’t help create a sense of tranquility, there are some quiet spaces for retreat, including a string of shaded tables where old Kyrgyz and Uzbek men gather to play chess and backgammon daily. We watch for a while, mesmerized by the contrast of strategic moves versus the luck of a dice roll, then move on. We then pass a Chaikhana, or tea house. Here, old men gather to hang out with their friends and sit on topchan, traditional benches that Michael finds utterly uncomfortable, while drinking green or black tea (“chai” in Kazakhstan and Kyrgyzstan, “choy” in Uzbekistan) with some nan (bread). Each region in Central Asia has its own version of nan, but it is basically a large round loaf with a thick outer crust and some sesame seeds and cumin on top for flavor. As with most days, we would eat a lot of bread. Watch Kyrgyz Robert DeNiro drink tea (see photo at the bottom).

We continue on through the park, as the towering trees give way to aluminum roofs and the jingles and ringing to haggling and shouting. We’ve arrived at another carnival of sorts: the Jayma Bazaar. Unlike other bazaars we’ve visited, which are massive mazes that are easy to get lost in, this one in Osh is fairly orderly, following the river in a linear fashion. This local bazaar sells every product imaginable, and we began to see rugs and carpets thrown into the mix, the influence of nearby Uzbekistan which we had not noticed in the markets of other Kyrgyz cities. Oh yeah, we also saw the occasional lamb carcass being dragged through the scarf aisle.

After a nice stroll through the bazaar, it’s now time for the most important part of the day—ice cream. Muzqaymoq, as it is known and spelled in Cyrillic, is third only to Salaam Alaykhum (hello, or more literally, “may peace be with you”) and Rakhmat (thank you) in local words used in our daily vocabulary. An ice cream cone only costs 10 som, so why not eat it everyday? If Bi-Rite was just 15¢ back in San Francisco, we would be 15 pounds heavier.

After muzqaymoq, it’s time to hike up the rocky outcropping that rises from the center of the city, called Suleiman’s Throne. It is believed that Muhammed once prayed here, so it is an important pilgrimage site for Muslims. It is now 3pm, so it happens to be the hottest time of the day, when the desert has sufficiently heated up and the wind has died down. Despite the heat, we find the hidden steep pathway that takes us through an abandoned graveyard, past a beautiful new mosque glimmering in the afternoon sun, and then up to a lookout with great views of Osh and the surrounding Fergana Valley. The viewpoint also houses a small sacred prayer room that Babur, a Fergana Valley native and later the founder of the Mughal Empire in India, commissioned to be built in 1496.

We then head to the other side of the crag to hike up to what we thought was Suleiman’s Throne. We find a ticket booth and ask them how we get up to the landmark. The cashier points to a museum; “Up through there,” she says. So we pay the 150 som per ticket for the museum (steep for an admission ticket in these parts) and walk inside, excited to find the pathway up to the top. After wandering through a museum with some random history about fertility and generic cavemen, we head up the stairs through a cave. “Wow, they had stairs through the mountain to get to the top!” we stupidly thought. After passing some random stuffed foxes, the stairway pops back out of the mountain, and low and behold, it’s… the ticket booth. Not only did we buy a ticket for a museum we didn’t want to see, but we now have to buy a ticket to hike around the mountain, which we had just walked around for free, having snuck in from the back by accident! On top of all that, what we sought did not exist: there is no throne or throne room for Suleiman; the entire mountain that we had been hiking all over is the “throne!” Just another instance of hilarious misinterpretation, almost as much of a daily occurrence as eating muzqaymoq. Just because someone nods and says yes, doesn’t mean they understand or are responding to what you are saying!

To amortize our silly ticket purchases, we spend some more time on the throne (just the top of the mountain, in case you weren’t paying attention). It was worth exploring the crag further, after all, as it offers some phenomenal 360-degree views. As we watched the red sun set over Uzbekistan in the distance, we bid farewell to our last day in Kyrgyzstan.

Dinner time. Let’s talk about the food. The food has been pretty good, but nothing to write home about. But, since we’re writing a blog and we’ve paid very little attention to the food so far, we’re going to write home about it now.

Central Asian cuisine is tasty, but it is more comforting than complex. You can subtly sense the influences from its historic trade partners in China, India, the Middle East, and Russia, but it doesn’t yield any cross-pollinating gems like the Bánh mì sandwich. It all reminds us a little of American Thanksgiving, in that there is a yellow/orange hue to everything, and the same few foods repeat themselves in various dishes that pretend to be different but really aren’t (though we can likely say that about many other cuisines, as well).

Similar to breakfast and lunch, each dinner starts with tea and bread. If you haven’t had enough carbs, there are rice and noodles aplenty (or French fries if you need a break, which is almost every day by week three). Most other dishes, including many soups and salads, are very meat forward. Chicken is considered a vegetable in Central Asia. If you are looking for something light, watch out for the salads—most are drowning in mayonnaise. The spices that are so prevalent in the bazaars do not seem to find their way into the kitchen, except for dill, which garnishes everything from soups to dumplings. Most of the flavor comes from different oils, which can lead to, well, very oily food. In general, the grilled meats are the best way to go. You can order grilled meats by the skewer, or even by the kilo. In short, every meal is repetitive, since there are only a few options to choose from. Here are the key dishes that have filled our days:

Plov: Rice pilaf dish mixed with meat, carrots, and peppers. Most restaurants will have it, but they run out fairly quickly, so it is often not available. You can pre-order in advance if you really want it. Plov is more than just a food, though; it is a social experience. When we asked some locals what they do on the weekends, they replied, “I guess we just hang out and eat plov.” There is even a museum about plov in Tashkent. Each region in Central Asia has their own variation, with different kinds of pilaf or additions to the mixture, such as raisins. Our palate hasn’t been able to discern between every regional variety, but we agree that so far, the Osh region’s is the best.

Shashlyk: Central Asian shish kebab, hold the vegetables. There are all types of meats to choose from, from local options such as sheep, lamb, or a gyro-meat like concoction, to grilled beef, chicken, or even chicken wings. Each skewer comes with a piece of juicy animal fat to help season the meat, which is delicious to suck on. Yum.

Manti: Steamed dumplings with a ground beef and onion mixture inside. Inevitably you’ll get at least one fatty chunk of meat inside that is inedible. Sometimes there is a vegetarian option with pumpkin, which is quite good. Some places will also feature fried mantis, but the steamed ones are much better. The better restaurants will serve mantis with a crème fraiche-like dip and dill on top, which really rounds out the dish nicely.

Samsas: Central Asian Samosas. Similar meat-and-onion filling as a manti, but with a fried breaded shell that is flakey like a croissant. Again, we’ve seen vegetarian variations stuffed with pumpkin, potatoes, or spinach, all of which were excellent. A great cheap street snack, this is about the only thing you can get for breakfast outside a hotel.

Lagman: Similar to Chinese pulled noodles (lamian), this is a great Central Asian dish that is distinctly Uyghur and made its way throughout the Silk Road. It is pulled noodles, stir-fried or steamed, mixed with meat, carrots, peppers, onions, and dill—except these pulled noodles basically taste like spaghetti. In fact, sometimes you’ll find lagman with tomato sauce in the Osh version, which was also our favorite variety. You can also get lagman in a soup version.

Jiz Biz: Yes, this is a thing. We were afraid to Google it at first, but when we eventually did, we discovered that this is a real thing. It is a meat dish originating in Azerbaijan—a mixture of heart, lungs, liver, and basically all the other parts of the animal that nobody wants to eat. We have yet to try this version yet. The only thing that sounds less appealing to eat is……cilantro.

Soup: The soup has been very good across Central Asia—usually the most reliable dish after the Lagman. There are stews with meat and potatoes, noodle soups such as chicken noodle or rice noodles with meatballs, dumpling soups with mini ravioli dumplings, creamed vegetable soups such as pumpkin or potato, and Eastern European classics such as borscht.

Salad: This is where you can insert some variety into your diet, though many of the salads revolve around the tomato and cucumber. For this reason, the Greek salad is extremely popular here and almost everywhere serves it. The light version is simply salted tomatoes with raw onions, which is surprisingly good paired with shashlyk, above. As mentioned, some of the salads have a lot of meat and/or mayonnaise, but we get them anyway because there is only so much plov and lagman one can eat. We do miss California salads sometimes!

On the way home after dinner, we buy a jug of water to refill our bottles. We collect our now-dry laundry, pack our bags yet again, and get ready for the next destination. The wifi’s decent, so we check social media, respond to all of your fun and much-appreciated messages, and go to sleep. It’s been good Kyrgyzstan, really good. Tomorrow, Uzbekistan.

Karen and Michael

Osh, Kyrgyzstan, October 2-4, 2019